Written Saturday October 10th during Andrea Gibson’s workshop called Write Your Heart In.

This was a poetry prompt asking us to choose something we knew very well. We were prompted to take that thing we know well and make it into an insider’s guide.

Here is my Insider’s Guide on Loving Someone that Doesn’t Love You, a poem about the once had, never had, or as Drake said [people] that we almost had– those lovers of the past and the insider’s guide on how to avoid, get over, or just survive the process of losing them. 

First of all, Never and I say never keep up with what they’re doing or who they’re with

You will break the shreds of a heart that remain in your dreadfully sad body

No, instead hold on to whatever is left 

Yes, exist on the once in a while

Because there WILL BE once in a while

Where she will show you that you could exist in her mind again

That small bit of maybe left in the sea of no’s he has given you
That is what you will live on
That is what will keep tears away for today

All you can focus on is today

It isn't keeping your hands busy that will be hard
But your mind
Keep a list of all the things you can think of instead on your fridge 
Your job
Your goals
His eyes
The problem with the mind is that it always wanders where it wants to

Never let it wander freely  

Go for a run, listen to that new album

Only listen to songs that don’t mention love

Do any songs not mention love?
Try to find songs about anything else besides love

Throw your phone in the river instead

Start over

New hobby

This one taking your brain away from her

For one minute longer than the last

That is the best you can do

For you know it will always land back on her 

On him 

On them 

On whoever it is you pine for 

That is where your brain wants to be 

So don’t let it go there 

Never let your brain stay on thoughts of them

Keep your brain on textbooks

On work 

On sports

On all the things you should be thinking of 

But couldn’t care less about 

In the late hours of the evening 

When you should be settling down ready for bed

That is when you will need to come here


That is when you will need to come back to this guide 
That is when you will need to focus on everything but

The way she used to look at you when you tripped over your own two feet

The way they touched your hand when you said you would drive

The way he laughed when you talked passionately about having an ice maker in your home

Distract and move on, my dear sisters,

My brothers, and forsaken unrequited lovers

Distract because those lovers are those that once were

Don’t let yourself love someone that doesn’t love you

You must move on to the now

Never live on the moments that someone shows you who they could be

Live live live for now

Never get stuck in what could be, but live for what actually is