“It’s just another manic Monday, I wish it was Sunday ’cause that’s my fun day. My I don’t have to run day” – The Bangles
Do you hate being rushed on Monday morning? Or do you hate someone rushing you when you’re getting ready to go out? I do.
Wouldn’t it be nice if everyday was what The Bangles described as an ‘I don’t have to run day’?
I, myself, hate being rushed by other people and yet I rush myself constantly. In fact, I often rush myself in a way that I would bark at someone else for doing. Every single morning I rush myself actually. My entire morning relies on perfection. One false move and I’m late.
I’ll never forget leaving my old apartment and grabbing my lunch, a Snapple bottle, yes old-school glass one, slipped right out of my smashy hands. Michie Smash! I called the office immediately because that meant I was late, unless I wanted to leave a sticky, glassy mess for when I came home.
When you live by the minute, there is little room for error.
I realized teaching at home during the shut down, I got to practice the art of not rushing. My kitchen was next to my virtual ‘classroom’ at home. Routine was easy because I was in one space predominately. That life of no rushing was nice and a LOT of self care was happening.
That life of calm had a whole different feeling to it. My first meetings were positive because I had already gotten things done before work that made me happy. Before work, I got to read, write, and run- some of my [now] favorite things. I had created the habit of waking up at 630 to do those things. I fell out of that habit with my summer schedule.
As I have written before, we learn and unlearn and relearn ourselves. Checking in with myself, I tried to figure out what was different about the last few weeks. I assessed what I was doing when things were more smooth at work. I remembered that this 630 morning time worked and so here I am, restarting. Thankfully habits, once developed, stay in your psyche like workouts stay somewhere in your muscle memory, even when you get chunky.
Habit training is a form of self love. The more positive habits you form, the easier it is to put yourself on a good routine. A routine sets up a good trajectory for your entire day– and eventually your entire week and then LIFE.
My mother told me life is all about good habits. She told me this for maybe… well my entire life. As most smart things she tried to teach me early, I’m learning this is true and working on it now in my 30s.
GOOD HABITS HAVE SAVED MY LIFE!
That is, when I keep them.
The thing with habits for me is luckily they form quickly. That, however, means they also fall off quickly. I have to keep reassessing and working on my habits because of this.
Habit: I am going to work on not rushing for work by waking up earlier by a half hour.
I have decided to work on the art of not rushing by using the idea of “The 5am Miracle.” This is a book I admittedly never actually read, but vaguely heard about and went with the idea. Now I don’t have 5am miracles anymore but, for me a 630 miracle is just the same. The author is Hal Elrod if you would like to read further ideas, but the basic principal is getting up at 5am and giving yourself a day before the day. I can’t even tell you how much, but I truly love that time. It is my daily miracle in itself, but leads to more miracles.
An old partner of mine used to basically say in not so many words that I was a monster at 630 the same as 7am, so I might as well just get up at the 630 mark. Valid point, but as you saw with my mom example, I only learn things in my own time. Now I see that time IS VITAL to my non bitchness in the morning. I get the bitch out before I have to deal with other people.
That said, to my fellow non morning people, it is so true– you will be just as cranky with that half hour snooze. Push through it if you want to try for this habit. Push through and eventually it’ll just happen like any other habit. Sucks to start, but once it’s happening, it is a new world. I’m so chipper once I get to work after attending to my miracles that I even annoy myself with the pitch of my ‘GOOD MORNING!’s
Self care habits in the morning come naturally when you have the time. Miracles!! Here are today’s miracles.
First off, I made my bed. [3 minutes] What a simple act with a huge impact. I felt successful immediately and will feel like a princess in a hotel when I get home to that made bed. This is the quickest way to start your day right and treat yourself like the king or queen you want to be.
Next, my girl time in the bathroom is a whole different thing when I have time. [15 minutes] When I have to rush, I often leave a whole thing out and hate myself- y’all ever put eyeliner on one eye? You know, with that time, I can do the nice, nice slow hair brushing. I can brush from the bottom all nice and work my way up. Not the rip the knots out, ‘I need to leave’ torture I usually succumb too.
That rip out the knots fast method, ironically, is how I used to scream at my dad for brushing my hair. Having long hair is hard. I used to actually run from my dad when he would try to brush it. I would also hide it when I had knots so he wouldn’t try to deal with it, or cut a brush I got stuck out of my head. Now when I had to rush out of the house in the morning, I totally got the frustration and ended up ripping those knots out the same– funny how we hate something someone else does and then do it to ourselves.
Next I got to play clean up! [10 minutes] Now I know this isn’t super exciting to do, but the thing is I have the energy to do it now. When I get home, it will be neat and I will be so happy. By then I just don’t have the energy to do it and frustrated myself staring at the mess WANTING it to be clean. Today, I got to get my dishes done. Yay, clean sink to come home to! I got all the clothes off the floor from the night before and picking outfits. Hung up the clean, dirty clothes in the laundry bin. Wiped off the counter and mirror, which looks like I spit my mouthwash directly on to.
Packing for the day [2 minutes] Now I did this without the normal rush! I made my iced coffee, put my snacks and lunch in a nice bag. The beauty in this miracle is I didn’t forget anything because of the lack of rush. That saves me from another possible rush of running to the store when I forgot something- like the one week I forgot my actual sandwich.
Now 30 minutes is not a lot daily, but it adds up to a lot of miracles when you do it for a week.
Simply put, habits can create a better life for you.
Even on my first day of getting back to this habit, I feel better. I truly do. This is self care. Finding the things that pump you up and working to keep doing them. That is what habits are for me. Pure self care.
Knowing I am coming home to a clean place puts me in a better mood and sets me up for a good, productive day.
There is always stress in the back of your brain when something needs to be done at home upon getting home. You wonder if you’ll have the energy or keep planning how to have the time for it. Getting it done before work makes you feel so successful and like so many other things, success builds on success.
Making that bed started it all. One good action leads to another. And another.
Having time to get ready, pick my outfit nicely, and really take of myself makes me glow. I just feel differently leaving the house with a nice work outfit. On one of my sports’ teams, we used to say “Look good. Feel good. Play good.” Now it may not be grammatically correct, but no matter what I am doing, I do it better when I feel like a babe.
Self care takes planning when you’re a busy, working lady/dude. For me, this habit is coming out of that necessity to make time for my self care.
If you want to do something consistently, you need to make it a habit or it will always be hard and it will often not happen.